Goings On

The Trouble With Pigs

You hear it over and over that pigs are the most intelligent farm animals. People often say pigs are smarter than dogs. Intelligence comes in a lot of varieties, however, and the pig’s greatest talent is for stubbornness. Now, I’m not just slandering the species because of my constant frustration with escaping swine, though they have a Houdini-like proclivity for moving through electric fences. The stubbornness of a pig extends even beyond its own best interests. You can open a gate, sixteen feet wide, and the pig will still try to root up and ram through the fence two feet to the right of the gate. It prefers to move in a straight line, obstacles be damned.

But unfortunately, even as a member of the species that claims to be wisest of the wise, I can’t claim that we are above such singlemindedness. Names and faces have been changed to protect the innocent: Read More »

Death to Turkeys

There are now 38 more dead Turkeys in the world. At 5:30 in the morning, Ross and I pulled on our coats and headed down the hill. We met Kirley and Ty (our fellow farm-workers) dressed in rubber boots; prepared for a messy day. We raised all our hoods, put on gloves and went bird-napping in the before-dawn dark. It is a surreal thing; approaching a flock of Turkeys out in a field, in the dead of night. It felt like doing something illicit, like we should have been wearing balaclavas. The first part of killing pastured Turkeys is catching them. One catches Turkeys by, well, grabbing them, sort of bear-hug style to keep them from flapping and scratching at you. Fortunately, they are more docile at night, though the first one Kirley caught went for her face with its beak. They are both heavy and strong, so sometimes, when I caught one, their sheer weight caused me to drop the beast. I tell you, it took some adrenaline to do it. There were no severe injuries, thankfully. We gently set each bird, individually into the livestock trailer. Only when there were three left did catching them become really difficult. They seemed to realise that their numbers had dwindled dramatically and that those birds that left did not seem to be coming back. We decided to grab all three of them pretty much at once to avoid a showdown, which more or less worked, except I lost my nerve and Kirley had to come grab my solitary, slightly panicked bird. Once we successfully loaded the turkey’s we drove about forty minutes to Jamie’s buddy Sean’s house. He has a really great poultry processing facility in his yard that was completely worth the trip, especially considering that where we normally process is in plain view of where the elementary school children tour around the farm on a daily basis.

Sean is an interesting guy. He’s tall, lanky, and his hair is balding but for a horseshoe of black ringlets that give him the slight appearance of a Hasidic Jew in carhart overalls. He believes in the most insane conspiracy theories, his wife is a bit of a Jesus-freak (but in a good, not-at-all-scary way), and I later found out that that pistol his five-year-old son, who was running around with his two-year-old sister playing cowboys with, was real. Despite these unnerving characteristics, Sean’s a cool guy. He has a couple of Milking Devon’s and Jersey’s, both heritage breeds. When we got there, Sean was milking the Devon who was red, horned, and bad-tempered. Milking Devons were the first cattle brought to North America by the pilgrims. There’s only about 400 left in the world. Sean sees the importance of preserving the genetics of an historical breed, so he raises a few. By the time we finished milking and had a cup of coffee, the scalder was hot enough to begin slaughtering and butchering.

Jamie, our fearless and very experienced leader, started the process. He grabbed a turkey by its feet. It flapped around for a minute. Really, I couldn’t help admiring how beautiful they are in this contorted position; arching their back and neck in this lovely “S” shape, wings outstretched. He gently put the bird, head-first into a silver cone and reached in to coax the turkey’s fleshy head out the bottom. With a knife I wished were a bit sharper, Jamie found the artery in the bird’s neck, just below it’s head, and slit it open. Jamie really was a master at this. The bird flapped and struggled minimally, and stayed fairly clean. Kirley went next. She had slaughtered chickens before, but was more intimidated by the turkeys. She wasn’t altogether sure of herself, but bravely (and now I think I understand where the turn of phrase comes from) took a stab. Her inexperience showed, as did that of everyone else there who slaughtered except for Jamie. Their cuts were much less precise, which I think did hurt the birds, as well as caused them to struggle a lot more. I use struggle gingerly. It was difficult to tell if the bird was alive or dead when it flapped around (only once actually pulling itself out of the cone, which was difficult to watch). I was sure that it was a “chicken with its head cut off” type of reaction where the nervous system shuts down by erupting violently, but I questioned it, since every time Jamie killed a bird this did not happen nearly as much. I was the only one who chose to refrain from killing. Maybe it was lack of courage, but I rationalised that I wanted to watch, learn, and to try to get my head around the idea of killing and how to do it better. I also reasoned that I lacked access to a sharper knife, which I am sure makes the process less painful for the birds.

The way I understand it, the reason the slitting of thoughts with a sharp knife is the preferred method of slaughter is this: think for a moment if you have you ever been cut with a sharp knife, a really sharp knife. If so, you probably didn’t notice right away. You probably saw blood before you ever felt pain. Now, think of a less common injury, that of massive blood loss. Most people who have experienced heavy blood loss describe the sensation as a kind of fading, a swimming in and out of consciousness, or a dreamy, light-headedness. The idea behind slaughtering animals this way is that it is relatively painless and because of blood-loss, death happens quite comfortably for the animal. But the whole time we were killing turkeys, despite these thoughts, I couldn’t help but wonder if this concept of “giving death” anthropomorphises these animals too much. Pretty much everything we did to these birds was better, less painful, and certainly less gruesome than what happens to them in nature. I remember going out into the sheep pasture one morning and finding a dead sheep; it’s head and shoulder twisted unnaturally and all its internal organs removed. And on another morning, feeding the turkey’s one dead, nothing left but bones and feathers in a brown, rotting heap. Another Turkey was sick. It’s wing had somehow been broken, and as it steadily became worse, its own kind pecked it and abused it until its head was a bloody, grey mess and Ty finally, mercifully snapped its neck. We are so concerned for the mercy of the animals we eat, much more so than nature ever is. I can’t help but wonder if this is another way that we have separated ourselves from nature, or if it is somehow in our nature to be merciful and to not want to cause harm and pain.

So, with those thoughts in my mind, I resigned myself to the process of scalding, plucking, eviscerating, and packaging. In order to pluck a bird easily, you have to heat the skin in water to just the right temperature for just the right amount of time. The machine is kind of like a rotisserie that pushes the bird with a metal plate in and out of the hot water for several minutes. The stink of hot wet dead bird became quite rank after mere minutes. Then, you pick up the hot, wet, dead bird that, mind you dry, already weighs some 40lbs, and wet at least 10 more, and hoist it into the plucker. The plucker is a large, stainless steel barrel lined with rubber, carrot-shaped nubs. When you turn the plucker on, the bird whirls around inside and the nubs serve to pull the feathers out in some mystery of physics I don’t understand. It’s pretty intense, watching this animal flap about, neck broken, being removed of its feathers. Then we pulled them out onto a table, removed the feet and heads, split open its belly and removed its entrails. I did a lot of this. I think because at this point the animal was becoming food, and I just sort of resonated with it. It was systematic and fascinating. Then the birds were cleaned with cold water, bagged, weighed, labelled, and put in the chest freezer. It was sort of amazing, having something that was alive not half and hour ago now bagged up and in a freezer, utterly changed, even unrecognisable from its original state. The whole process for 38 birds took about eight hours, including an hour lunch break and clean up. I learned all kinds of amazing and miraculous things about bodies and biology. It was such a powerful thing to see a 5 gallon bucket of blood set out for a few hours. It coagulated into a jello-like substance that was thick and dark and beautiful. There were buckets of unusable entrails, heads and feet and lungs, translucent oesophagus’s, and bright green bile; yellow, shining intestines all twisting and curving. We bagged up livers and gizzards that were purpley and iridescent. I know, it seems so gross when I say it here in writing, but I can’t stress how mesmerisingly beautiful it was to see: like a mystery of creation all laid out plain and vulgar, but no less mysterious.

By the end of the day I wasn’t sure if I would ever eat turkey again, mostly due to the smell, but also, in part, due to the fact that my hands had the sensory memory of the soft squish of lungs being dug out of rib cages. We were all bloody, smelly, and exhausted. As we were driving away, I couldn’t help but feel like I had been initiated, not only into the farm and the very essence of farming, but also into a shared experience of the rest of the world. In this month’s National Geographic, there’s an amazing photo of men in Bangladesh slaughtering a cow in the street. It’s blood arches in a spray as the beast falls toward the ground, the men assisting in its death. The caption below reads that the slaughter is celebratory, in honour of Id al-Adha, a Muslim holiday in honour of Ibraham’s willingness to sacrifice his son, Ishmael, at God’s request. The story, though differing in detail between the Judeo-Christian and Islamic versions, is read similarly in all three traditions. It is a story of ultimate devotion to the divine and unwavering supplication to the will of God. It also shows that obedience to God, though it my look grim and painful, is always reconciled with unanticipated mercy (remember, God stops Abraham at just the right moment). For Abraham and Isaac (Ibrahim and Ishmael) the horrible journey towards death, indeed a total willingness to both kill and to die without fear is rewarded with joy and relief in the form of a sheep, willing to die in Isaac’s stead. Fundamentally, this story links sacrifice with celebration, death with joy. And so, Ibrahim’s life-affirming sacrifice it is celebrated in the Muslim world with, what else but sacrifice. Animals are ritually and publicly slaughtered and shared among the poor.

The take home message is that animal slaughter is old, it is common, it is even elemental to human existence. It was so in the ancient world and is so today. Animals die so that people might live and this natural order is to be celebrated. It is perhaps difficult for us here in the safe, sterile comfort of the Western world to associate violence with happiness, but we must face this unassailable truth: death is life. Imagine for a moment the happiness a family must feel when they acquire a cow, sheep, or goat that they can use perpetually for food. An animal is a perpetual source because it regenerates itself in the cycles of life, birth, and death. This process is jarring to the uninitiated, (yet so many of us here in the US literally worship this process in the form of Jesus). Imagine for a moment the great physical pains of most of the world, both past and present, of just how dirty and foul it can get. We now, in this country, live in a kind of golden bubble. We have the privilege and indeed, luxury of constant and unwavering food supply. So many of us have the privilege of never seeing an animal die (to say nothing of seeing a human being die). So many have the privilege of spending only twenty-percent of our income on food. So many have the privilege of never bloodying our hands, never sullying them in the planting of seeds and harvesting of roots, of never having smelled the stench of dead things. In short, a great many of us have the privilege of never having to get dirty in order to live. But someone else, somewhere does have to get dirty, and too many of us have the privilege to ignore them. It is this division of people, clean and unclean: those who see death and are willing to die just as much as their food is, and those who think that separation from death is the way to life. This division I reject. So, I got to know death a little better through the sacrifice of 38 birds, 38 birds that will be used to celebrate our bounty, that will be used to remind us of how grateful we are, or perhaps, how grateful we should be, and that will remind us that gratitude is the deepest way we are happy.

Day-to-Day

So, long time, no write. Yeah, life on a farm; it’s busy. It goes like this: get up at 6:30 in a great deal of cold, dress, scrape together some breakfast while listening to NPR, drive down the hill, feed and water horses, pigs, and turkeys, and sheep, do a  lot of different chores and projects, move the cows, finish projects for the day, drive home, shower, cook supper, eat, go to bed by 9ish. The chores and projects have been anything and everything: troubleshooting electric fencing, manning the farm store, weed-whacking the corn maze, cutting pumpkins, weed-whacking the pumpkin patch, moving the turkey house, putting up fencing, loading animals into trailers, driving to the butcher, making deliveries all over Asheville and Hendersonville, packing boxes, putting out trash, making apple cider, cleaning up the cider room, working on making our house habitable and free of wildlife, drafts, and mould, and herding pigs.

I would like to take this time to discus herding pigs in more detail. As a rule, one should not not attempt it. My first experience herding these little pinkies landed me crawling miserably through thick labyrinths of multiflora rose where two very crafty little porkers kept retreating despite our very best efforts to get them to move with their buddies into the next field.  Let me tell you, a multiflora rose thicket can get the size of a large truck, and you can’t see daylight out the other side. We considered getting our hands on a pneumatic air cannon, or else a couple of paint-ball guns to encourage our two fat friends out, but eventually abandoned our efforts and bush-hogged the field the next day.

On a separate occasion, we attempted to move seven pigs about a mile from one field to another. On the first attempt, they got as far as the gate, turned and ran all the way back. On the second attempt, they got as far as the gate, turned and ran all the way back. Mind you, this is seven pigs verses four adult humans. Very, very ,very gently, very calmly, we managed to get five pigs past the gate and into the pasture, two ran for it. One we abandoned and let him go wee-wee-wee all the way home. The other we cornered and managed to hold her within five feet of the gate. We reached a stalemate. She stood stock still. We stood stock still, slowly, we edged her towards the gate, but always she retreated. We waited, to see if she would go in on her own. We stood and looked at each other for a solid fifteen minutes before she finally decided, on her own terms, that she would join the other pigs in the pasture. Ever heard the idiom “stubborn as a pig”?

We’re killing Turkey’s at 5:30 tomorrow morning (before any more of them die of their own accord). Mmmmm, death for breakfast. . .

Fire bad. Tree pretty.

Simple concepts are the limit of our mental processing abilities at the moment. Packing is one thing, but the physical act of moving all one’s worldly possessions from one place to another all in one go is, well, insane. I’ve lived a lot of places, traveled, and moved around, but never before with every, single, blasted thing I own. A teacher once told me that having books is a wonderful thing but a real impediment when one moves. It’s true.

Also on the list of impediments, I will add underpowered equipment. The 24-foot truck we rented drove like a kitten pulling a tractor. Ross, who drove the thing, bless him, said it was like captaining a ship: if you want to accelerate you have to send a message down to the steam room to tell them to throw more coal on. Thus, a three-and-a-half hour journey took about five. Mountains are big.

Our arrival at the farm was met with massive logistics; logistic gymnastics, really.

  1. Find a place to park the truck so that the 2,000 lb. car trailer can come off and be re-attached later
  2. Detach the trailer
  3. Stop half way through step 2 to remove the car
  4. Let the 2,000 lb. car trailer, that is no longer held firmly down by the truck, flip up as you remove the car
  5. Remove car
  6. Take cat to the farmhouse
  7. Build cat cage
  8. Discover the tool to build the cat cage is a piece of crap, find a different tool that will work
  9. Put cat in cat cage and make sure she has water
  10. Unload plants from truck
  11. Drive to storage unit
  12. Forget to borrow new employer’s appliance dolly
  13. Rent appliance dolly from Budget truck place, which is two doors down behind The Trophy Club Gentleman’s Establishment
  14. Arrive at storage unit, and back truck into loading dock
  15. Forget what our storage unit number is. Discover all paperwork is in a box. Somewhere.
  16. Call storage facility manager to get the unit number
  17. Find out we are in the wrong building of the facility and drive truck to other side
  18. Find correct unit and bring down truck ramp
  19. Align truck ramp with sidewalk
  20. Get large dolly onto truck
  21. Unload truck into storage unit
  22. Unload truck into storage unit
  23. Unload truck into storage unit
  24. Unload truck into storage unit
  25. Unload truck into storage unit
  26. Unload truck into storage unit
  27. Unload truck into storage unit
  28. Give friend directions to storage unit to help, tell him to bring lots of water
  29. Order pizza
  30. Eat pizza, drink water
  31. Repeat steps 21-27
  32. Organise contents of storage unit, maximise use of vertical space
  33. Organise contents of storage unit, maximise use of vertical space
  34. Panic that not everything will fit
  35. Take a deep breath and repeat steps 26-27
  36. Finish unpacking truck! Cheer loudly.
  37. Repack things that have to come back to the farm
  38. Clean up
  39. Take the amazing kid who helped (David) home and pay him
  40. Drive truck back to farm
  41. Unload things that need to stay at the farm into cars
  42. Align truck with 2,000 lb. car trailer. In the dark. On a hill. Twelve inches away from your new boss’s truck.
  43. Attach car trailer and secure oh-shit brakes
  44. Discover that hi-quality trailer light connection panel is courtesy of Rent-a-Truck Nigeria
  45. Decide how we will get back to the farm after the truck is dropped off
  46. Drive to rental truck drop-off point
  47. Fill out paperwork
  48. Drive back to farm
  49. Find things we will need for the night
  50. Shower
  51. Sleep

You’ve no idea the sub-steps that are in-between.
Fire bad. Tree pretty.

Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: the moment when the movement started

Today, I cleaned out my fridge. It was an act, at the time, born of immediate need. I confess, it smelled, it had been slightly neglected. And, of course, fridge cleaning is the great rite of moving. But cleaning the fridge is really a microcosm of the whole event of moving. All kinds of things lurk in the fridge. Many, very obviously, need to leave (the mould-forest growing on the pine nuts) while others are in a kind of limbo (a half empty bottle of barbecue sauce, two-thirds a bottle of mustard). Most I trash, but some grab at my heart. My jar of bouillon made a convincing plea. “I’m just so handy when you haven’t made broth lately. Surely you’ll want me. It don’t ever go bad,” the little jar seemed to say.

Moving, for me, takes enormous focus as every item I own passes through my hands and must face the question: to trash, or not to trash? In my focus on these life-changing issues, however, I lose, for a moment, the real issue at hand: why am I moving? And not moving just to a new house, town, state, or job, but to the sum total of all these things: I am moving to a new life. Feeling a little shaky about this transition and the general upheaval of my existence, I was invited to, really, the perfect farewell to one life and the open-armed welcome to my new one.

I went to see Barbara Kingsolver speak about her book Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, in which she tells the story of her family’s first year eating an entirely local diet. It was really wonderful. I was especially surprised that I knew so many people there. Usually when I go out, I might see one person I know… maybe. Atlanta, after all, is a big place. But this time it was my town; if I didn’t know their name, I knew their face: Linda, who runs an amazing Feminist bookstore; Donna, my exceptional high school history teacher; Bob, my chiropractor; Joe, the man who sells me veggies at on of the local farm stands where I shop; my friend Sarah, a student at Emory; and several of the farmers whose produce I enjoy weekly. I was warmed by this incredible interest, not only among the general public, but among people I have known for years. I felt like I was finally in on something. I wasn’t an outsider.

And then it dawned on me. I realised how involved in this whole local foods movement I am. I know these people; I share their likes and concerns. We know the same things. We know, as Ms. Kingsolver said tonight; we don’t believe, but know that our conventional food production is a “limited-time-only deal.” We are worried about that. We are worried because what we eat is more than what we are: it’s the very face of the earth and moreover, the means by which we stay on it. It is the thing we use the most, and though we suffer the omnivore’s dilemma of infinite choice in what we eat, we have no choice but to eat. But the strange part is, I knew all this before there was a “we.”

I knew sitting in my mother’s kitchen learning how to cook just by watching, by the pure osmosis of my mother’s love in her food. I know this because, though I had my fair share of TV dinners and McDonald’s apple pies, that nothing was more beautiful than the soft dimples of pastry laid over cinnamon-coated apples and that nothing on God’s green earth beats supper at my mother’s kitchen table. I was probably the only child in my pre-school who knew what asparagus looked like as they were coming out of the ground, and one of the few who spent summers eating blackberries off the vine that made my hands purpley-black. I realise now, after being in a room with hundreds of like-minded people, that there was something that had long-ago been born in me, dare I say, quite organically that really and truly is a part of something bigger. I realise now that I’m not towing the line, I’m creating it.

So, when I went home I let go of the canned bouillon. If there’s no broth, there’s no broth, and there will be something else for supper. I am starting here: in the pull to understand that it’s not about what I want, it’s about what there is. Ms. Kingsolver, in her experience, found that this practice led her family to a feeling of gratitude, which is not at all about being beholden but is the immense and joyous feeling that comes of having all you need and being happy about it. Cleaning out my fridge became my first act in this new life. Local eating isn’t going to be something I work towards, or try to do, or even succeed at. It is going to be my life. I will work, breathe, and, yes, eat, local food.

Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 United States
This work by Rebecca and Ross Williams is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 United States.